A letter to my friend

Dear Shruti,

A new year has begun, and it's been around 3 months since you left all of us. Things have changed, people have changed, somethings have got better whereas somethings have gotten worse. 

I don't know how exactly to explain to you what is going on in my mind right now, but I do know that you're watching me, that you're my darling guardian angel who will always guide me through the right way, I know that you're around me seeing what I'm going through, I need you to know that it's really sad how people change within a very short span of time, about how time flies and affects all of us very indirectly yet to precisely. It kinda hurts you know. But I'm also glad that he got people by my side to hold me and act as a source of happiness in my life. 

Lately, I've kept myself occupied with things so that nothing really gets into my head and I don't spend time thinking about it rather than doing my work, but I can't seem to help it. I feel miserable sometimes and happy otherwise. I'm getting weirder day by day. I don't know what is going on, if I'm confused, or if I'm morose. It's kinda complex and I'm sure only you can understand me. Thanks for listening to me patiently and never complaining, you're one person I could rely on and trust blindly in this world full of hypocrites, I know you will stay by my side no matter what and never backstab me. 

I really hope things change and get back to normal, I hope I am not way to delusional right now, reality is hard, I am facing hardships living with it you know, but this is something I've learned from you, never to give up and fight till the last moment. You're my inspiration shruti. I hope you are listening to me, you love blogging and I'm sure your up there with a laptop with you and headphones on listening to your favourite songs, maybe watching or planning Harry Potter part 1000 with Harry's great grand children or maybe watching One tree hill again, and reading blogs of mine, as you liked it. 

But yeah, I know you're here for me and will be always. 

I'm never usually like this you know, it might be the exam stress or the fear of moving to 12th grade, but everything around me is swiftly moving and It seems to go out of my control, anyhow, thanks for keeping an eye on me. 

I honestly, truly, faithfully love you and I miss you very much. Come back to me soon if possible. 

Thanks for everything. 

Yours lovingly 

Shrea. 

Paradox of the Ravaged Terrene

With too much Pride,
Needing a guide,
we will deny it,
But behind lies we hide.

Bliss Lost,
The Holocaust,
We behold to see,
Heads camouflaged in frost.

Not acquiring the blame,

craving for fame,
as advanced as we are,
We're all still Untamed.


 















Children Abandoned,
Destitute and stranded,
we're all perishing the life,
That we have been handed.

People availing fights,
No longer cherishing the sights,
while mere mortals are taking
Our God blessed Rights.

Commandos Killed,
Void can't be filled,
Pray and Pay attention,
For pure souls have been tilled.

The urge to find peace,
To work In-Sync like geese,
But tremendous of all,
The Hate needs to cease.

Maniac or Schizophreniac?

Sometimes gazillion thoughts storm up your mind, let it be; negative, positive, logical, psychological, hypothetical, delusional and the list goes on and on and on. It gets you bewildered as to how to react? Be elated about the marvelous happenings, or be agonized by the horrendous negativity of life?Do you like your past better than the present? Are you upset over things you do not have? Think about the future ?( Which again is a contradictory to what everyone says, Live in the present blah blah), Live in the present ( yes with so may delusions which never gives us a piece of mind)Or dwell in the past? (Yeah people also say, a horrible past makes you a better person) Are you a better person yet? Or do people still expect hell oodles form you? One Important question, Do you live for yourself? or do you live for the sake of others? Do you consider your wishes? Or are you a wish granting factory to the society? Are you going to make the change or sit back, hold a box of popcorn and critisise everyone else around you? Are you the couch potato or the one to make a difference? What are you going to do with your life? What are you here for? Have you ever wanted to be someone else? Have you ever felt like you didn't want to live anymore because you lack the Human necessities? Have you tried yourself or have you left it to the so called "Heaven" and its "Creator" ? Do you believe In God or are you an atheist? Or are you confused and you call yourself an agnostic? Do you really have to believe what others clout you to believe? Or do you think twice before believing any random-est  things that the society things is "correct"? Do you think for yourself or do you expect others to make decisions for you? do you trust the others whom you rely upon to make decisions for you? Do you know the people well enough to tell them what means the most to you? how do you if they are not taking the advantage of your vulnerability? How do you know people are being selfless and helping you or if they have their own greed behind it? How can you read minds? Have you tried being yourself?why don't you try being independent and resolve things on your own? You think others know you better than you do? You think the "Society" knows you, your potential, your future, your achievements, your development, your interests better than you do? You think you are a puppet of your surroundings? What is it that you plan to do? Have you planned it enough to face the consequences? Have you pictured how these consequences will affect your future? Are you thoughtful enough to think about all this? Are you sensible enough to say "no" to people? are you practical enough to understand when someone takes you for granted? are you wise enough to know if the road you've chosen is right or wrong?Are you influenced by your parents to make decisions? Do you lack liberty? Do you not realise that it is your life and you get to do what you want to? Don't you know you could be fearless? Don't you know you are unique and everything you plan for yourself and others will be for the betterment of everyone? Do you believe in motivation? Do you feel that you can do something? can you be collective than selective? Can you not think only for yourself but think about the others without affecting them in anyways but enhancing yourself?Do you understand? Are you able to form conclusions?Are you still going to think or just sit and read this blog? Okay, so Are you forming opinions upon me? Do you know me well enough to judge me? Knock yourself out, but good job, who am I? You know me?If so, what do you think I am? A Maniac or a Schizophreniac?

Shruti Ravi- My Superwoman

It was back in grade IX, the first day of that year 2013,when I met Shruti. She was very friendly in introducing herself and it was then, when we started talking. We shared many things in common,either it was praising our favorite food, or well talking about our favorite novels (hers was Harry potter) or some TV Series (our favorite was one tree hill) As time passed, I realized she was a prodigy. Excellent in studies, Confident orator, Humorous Writer, Innovative in arts, so creative that whichever group activity “Shruti the scholar” took up, that group got full marks. She was gentle in speaking, she was very polite. She never fought with anyone, never had any bitter feelings or thoughts about anyone. Her soul and heart was pure. Then came November, when Shruti was not very regular to school, it got all of us very curious. When asked, we were told she had an eye pain, then we were told she has migraine, and finally that she had anemia. But it was still unbelievable. So we decided to go see her. When we informed our teachers about our plan they told us not to react when we see her bald. That got us thinking, why would an anemic go bald? We went to see her, and there she was with an evergreen broad smile on her face, she greeted us with a warm hug as she was very elated. And the first thing she said to us was “ Look at me, I look like a clown, you guys can laugh you know, I mean I look so funny, why are you guys so serious?” yes that humor. That positive approach. Always was there within her. After watching a few superwoman videos, and updating her on the latest gossips of Millennium, we decided to leave. And that is when we got the biggest shock, aunt told us she had leukemia, and that she was going through chemotherapy. 

As time passed, her condition was worsening, but we always got some or the other positive result, she fought leukemia, she went through vigorous chemo-therapies and blood transplant, with the incredible support from her parents, she never gave up, she was so strong that it was credulous.

But life is never always fair to us. She had to go. 2.36 pm, 18th October, 2015, a beautiful soul, our guardian angel dispersed to where she belonged. She’s an inspiration to all of us out there. Her spirit and personality was just impeccable. She was a bundle of joy. She went through blunders all day, all night with a smile on her face. Despite of being in a tough condition, she thought about all those poor children who could not afford treatment for cancer, she had the biggest heart and the most lovely soul we would ever come across. Shruti, You’re in a better place now. I hope you’re smiling up there. I hope you know that we all love you. O hope you know that you will always remain in our hearts and memories. I hope you know that our friendship will always prevail. I hope you know that your millennium cherishes you. You have the biggest heart. You’re the bravest. You’re my superwoman. I would like to conclude with a small poem I wrote on Shruti;

There she was, Bright as sunshine Bold as a grenade. There she was, Happy as a lark Strong as a blade.

There she was, Fighting and batting her fears With a smile on her face. There she was, With a tremendous courage, A splendid approach, A positive perspective, With a heart so affectionate. There she was, Beautiful in and out, Ready for all circumstances, Without any hesitations. And here she is, and will eternally be, In my heart and forever in my memories, For she is brave, for she is my superwoman.

They Say

 They say, You'll be alright

They say, you're strong enough to fight.

They say, Pain lasts for long but makes you stronger.

They never say that sore memories last for longer.

They say everything has an end,

They say a riven soul can mend.

They say smile is a curve than can set any thing straight,

They never say to smile, for decades you have to wait.

They say you can turn the tables,

They say the entity is more alluring than fables.

They say that the abstruse mind is an Inferno

They say that you reap what you sow,

They say the earth is a wonderland on which we dwell,

They never said that reality is a living hell.

Abstract Paradise

Drips and Drops of blood,

Pale as a flower bud,

Quivering and Shivering,

cold as Ice,

Lost in her reclusive paradise.

As she opened her eyes,

Struggling and juggling to rise.

Counting her days to be alive,

In a world so rigid to survive.

Bewildered and startled there she stood,

fathoming her? Nobody would.

Delusions and errors in the vicinity.

Bestowing life to the faint infinity.

If

If I could Move around the mob;
 Unnoticed,
If I could sing a melancholy;
 Unheard,
If I could survive the abhorrence;
 Untouched,
If I could see the Light;
 Unsighted
If I could smile;
 Unhappy,
Life would be plain,
No gain, No pain.

If I could cry and die;
 for myself,
If I could stand still;
When I am numb,
If I could Speak my heart out;
When I am hurt,
If I could be selfish;
For once,
If I could See the world beyond infinities;
To live.
Life would be euphoric,
Not tragic, Not Traumatic.